thank god for showtime at the fucking apollo. it is the perfect thing to watch when you're kind of drunk but not really and you're in bed and all you want to do is read myspace and compose emails that you're never going to send.
another list.
1. water balloons are probably the most hilarious thing to incorporate into a social situation.
2. olive oil makes for a very moist birthday cake.
3. you should be wary of loft parrties in soma where you don't know anyone and there's bad hard house playing in the kitchen.
4. camoflauge is hideous.
4a. not sure if i spelled that right.
5. on friday i bit the bullet and went to work and asked jack out. well, i gave him my number. we shot the shit for a second about stuff, like work and school and wherre we went to school and blah blah blah. i stood there with a wet rag in my hand and my apron hardly on. before he left, i said "hey jack. we should hang out sometime." his voice squeaked when he said "sure". it was adorable. i sprinted to thecounter, fumbled for something to write on and then scrawled my name and number. my hand was shaking. after this, i made some ccomment about god knows fucking what and then sprinted to the backroom where i proceeded to mime vomiting into the trash can.
5a. i hope jack calls me. ball's in his court now. look at me. i'm not playing games. i have too much shit to deal with on the other end. i just need a distraction. or something.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
vomiting in public.
this is kinda awesome as well
www.adidas.com/adicolor
i like graphic design, i like sneakers and i like websites that are heaavy on flash(sort of).
it's bene really nice for the past few days here. thank GOD. the sun was out and yesterday greg and wendy cam eover and came into mjy house while iw as asleep on the bed and went to the roof and then we sat on the roof and we drank beer and talked and it was bice. finally, a fucking nice day. after about three hundred years of rain. if i heard someone make a fucking ark joke one more time i was going to kill.
here's another list of things. i prefer doing this in list format since i work way better making things in a list. etc.
1. my drug test at the chron was inconclusive/dilute so i had to take another one yesterday. i tried to flush my system the natural way and everyone is assuring me that i passed so ia m believing them. i had to talk to like 5 different people while i was waiting to go to HR and they all told me how happy they would be to have me work ther eand blah blah. and i vomited a little in my mouth and smiled through it. then i got a pep talk from mc and then went to take the drug test. the end.
2. i have a mini crush on jack the paralegal who comes into peets all the time. i have been bringing out the big guns, working the rapport etc but i am running out of time. i have been given a variety of suggestions in how to ask him out, including but not limited to slipping a note in the bag with his bagel and just asking him to get a drink with me/go to wendy's birthday party this weekend. i vomited quietly ino a garbage can at the thought of all of these things. most likely none of this will happen, since i am not going to ask him out and there's just no way.
3. i cou;d've done away with the list format and merely just had paragraphs. oh well.
4. thank god toto is on the regis and kelly show.
5. the weather is getting nicer, i might have a jobn at the chron so it looks like things are on the up and up. and dave will be coming back to the united states in a month or so.
i don't even know anymore. i really dont.
www.adidas.com/adicolor
i like graphic design, i like sneakers and i like websites that are heaavy on flash(sort of).
it's bene really nice for the past few days here. thank GOD. the sun was out and yesterday greg and wendy cam eover and came into mjy house while iw as asleep on the bed and went to the roof and then we sat on the roof and we drank beer and talked and it was bice. finally, a fucking nice day. after about three hundred years of rain. if i heard someone make a fucking ark joke one more time i was going to kill.
here's another list of things. i prefer doing this in list format since i work way better making things in a list. etc.
1. my drug test at the chron was inconclusive/dilute so i had to take another one yesterday. i tried to flush my system the natural way and everyone is assuring me that i passed so ia m believing them. i had to talk to like 5 different people while i was waiting to go to HR and they all told me how happy they would be to have me work ther eand blah blah. and i vomited a little in my mouth and smiled through it. then i got a pep talk from mc and then went to take the drug test. the end.
2. i have a mini crush on jack the paralegal who comes into peets all the time. i have been bringing out the big guns, working the rapport etc but i am running out of time. i have been given a variety of suggestions in how to ask him out, including but not limited to slipping a note in the bag with his bagel and just asking him to get a drink with me/go to wendy's birthday party this weekend. i vomited quietly ino a garbage can at the thought of all of these things. most likely none of this will happen, since i am not going to ask him out and there's just no way.
3. i cou;d've done away with the list format and merely just had paragraphs. oh well.
4. thank god toto is on the regis and kelly show.
5. the weather is getting nicer, i might have a jobn at the chron so it looks like things are on the up and up. and dave will be coming back to the united states in a month or so.
i don't even know anymore. i really dont.
Monday, April 17, 2006
thank god
this book cracks me the fuck up,
i remember reading about it when it first came out and now it's out and available on the internet in full. i kind of want to raise my kids this way, complete with sgt. pepper jacket and wacky hippie hubby.
www.itsjustaplant.com
i remember reading about it when it first came out and now it's out and available on the internet in full. i kind of want to raise my kids this way, complete with sgt. pepper jacket and wacky hippie hubby.
www.itsjustaplant.com
Saturday, April 15, 2006
good shit
here is another list.
things i like right now.
1. fafi: www.fafi.net
a hilarious, interesting, creepy graff artist.she's french and writes in broken english on her website and she shows at a really great gallery that i have been getting email alerts from for like 5 years called sixspace in LA. there is one of her crazy ladies painted near upper playground on fillmore. love her.
2. the blanket i knitted.
3. my apartment and my gardenia scented castle.
4. my new haircut
5. kidrobot, which is a store that fulfills my desire for kitschy, vaguely subversive cartoony art from japan etc.
6. shaina's new voluminous haircut.
7. the fact that lindsay lohan is on snl right now and she's a fucking retard.
8. fin.
things i like right now.
1. fafi: www.fafi.net
a hilarious, interesting, creepy graff artist.she's french and writes in broken english on her website and she shows at a really great gallery that i have been getting email alerts from for like 5 years called sixspace in LA. there is one of her crazy ladies painted near upper playground on fillmore. love her.
2. the blanket i knitted.
3. my apartment and my gardenia scented castle.
4. my new haircut
5. kidrobot, which is a store that fulfills my desire for kitschy, vaguely subversive cartoony art from japan etc.
6. shaina's new voluminous haircut.
7. the fact that lindsay lohan is on snl right now and she's a fucking retard.
8. fin.
wow
i got a really expensive haircut yesterday. it is precious. but expensive and i fear it makes me look like a lezzie. but i am sure it doesn't. so that's fine.
the aftermath of the drug test was sort of a nightmare. the detox shit that i was told to take by everyone made me pee for days. my pee was bright yellow. and apparently i peaked while i was sitting in the clinic waiting to go pee in a cup. i had to pee so bad that i nearly vomited and i was shaking and sweating like a stuck pig. the kindloy nurse practicitioner obviously thought i was a crackhead/recovering meth addict beccause she looked at me like i was crazy. as she should have, because i looked a fuccking mess. then i peed in a cup for like 20 minutes because THAT'S HOW MUCH URINE I HAD IN MJY SYSTEM. ew x 10884. lightened of my load, i skipped merrily off to meet my mother at loehmanns where i listlessly rejected almost every item of clothing she tried to purchase and then ate some sushi with her and then went home.
all in all, it was a productive day.
that detox shit is still working it's way through my system if you know what i mean.
the aftermath of the drug test was sort of a nightmare. the detox shit that i was told to take by everyone made me pee for days. my pee was bright yellow. and apparently i peaked while i was sitting in the clinic waiting to go pee in a cup. i had to pee so bad that i nearly vomited and i was shaking and sweating like a stuck pig. the kindloy nurse practicitioner obviously thought i was a crackhead/recovering meth addict beccause she looked at me like i was crazy. as she should have, because i looked a fuccking mess. then i peed in a cup for like 20 minutes because THAT'S HOW MUCH URINE I HAD IN MJY SYSTEM. ew x 10884. lightened of my load, i skipped merrily off to meet my mother at loehmanns where i listlessly rejected almost every item of clothing she tried to purchase and then ate some sushi with her and then went home.
all in all, it was a productive day.
that detox shit is still working it's way through my system if you know what i mean.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
so this one time
hi,
i got a job at the chronicle.
THANK. FUCKING. GOD.
i went in for the interview today and she was like um so what if i were to offer you a position today, and i sad well i'd say yes, and then she was like um ok. here you go. and i felt the weight of the entire world off my chest. i have been acting like a silly goose and now i have a job. just have to do the following.
1. pass the pee test! too bad i smoke pot. oops. i have some nasty detox shit that looks fucking raunch and i have to drink an hour and a half before the thing tomorrow and that is not really something i'm looking forward to. mc says i'm goign to shit my brains out and have to pee so bad i'll look like a fucking crackhead. that's cool.
2. work one more week at hell/peets.
3. purchase an edgy yet mildly conservative wardrobe of business casual clothes ccentered around attractive flats with a mini wedge and various cute blouses with peter pan collars.
i'm watching sex and the city and it's one of the earlier ones when carrie is still with big, like in the very beginning and she's got awful late 90's hair and some nasty silver eyeshadow.
i got a job at the chronicle.
THANK. FUCKING. GOD.
i went in for the interview today and she was like um so what if i were to offer you a position today, and i sad well i'd say yes, and then she was like um ok. here you go. and i felt the weight of the entire world off my chest. i have been acting like a silly goose and now i have a job. just have to do the following.
1. pass the pee test! too bad i smoke pot. oops. i have some nasty detox shit that looks fucking raunch and i have to drink an hour and a half before the thing tomorrow and that is not really something i'm looking forward to. mc says i'm goign to shit my brains out and have to pee so bad i'll look like a fucking crackhead. that's cool.
2. work one more week at hell/peets.
3. purchase an edgy yet mildly conservative wardrobe of business casual clothes ccentered around attractive flats with a mini wedge and various cute blouses with peter pan collars.
i'm watching sex and the city and it's one of the earlier ones when carrie is still with big, like in the very beginning and she's got awful late 90's hair and some nasty silver eyeshadow.
Monday, April 10, 2006
sarah you better be reading this
well.
i didn't think i'd be doing this again for a long time.
here is a list. i like lists.
1. i have moved to an apartment with mary clair in which i have an adorable room, a fantastic kitchen and two of the most neurotic downstairs neighbors in the entire world. they can hear everything i do and i feel like i'm living in a dorm again.
2. i continue the search for real employment and i rapidly lose hope in the fact that i will become employed at a professional organization.
2a. what is wrong with me? do i interview poorly? do i smell? maybe the fact that i was DYING OF THE FLU last tuesday is why i did not get hired at the one place.
3. there are earthquakes in california. this scares me more than anything.
4. i didn't realize that i resent the succcess of my friends.
5. i have been searching in vain for the last vicodin i saved from my dental work and i am saddened to say that i think it got lost in the move. this news saddens me more than you may know.
6. i took a 6 hour nap today because i was so fucking tired. now i feel like it's 7:00 at night and it's really almost midnight.
7. i smell like coffee almost all the time. i don't like coffee very much.
8. i have learned not to look a gift horse in the mouth. if only i hadn't fucked shit up at the jewelry company.
9. i have a headache.
10. someone should discover this blog, decide i'm witty, fantastic and hilarious, and then publish it and me, consequentally ending my job hunt and making it so that i can work from home while sipping tea out of a chipped thrift store mug and tapping effervescently at my computer.
i didn't think i'd be doing this again for a long time.
here is a list. i like lists.
1. i have moved to an apartment with mary clair in which i have an adorable room, a fantastic kitchen and two of the most neurotic downstairs neighbors in the entire world. they can hear everything i do and i feel like i'm living in a dorm again.
2. i continue the search for real employment and i rapidly lose hope in the fact that i will become employed at a professional organization.
2a. what is wrong with me? do i interview poorly? do i smell? maybe the fact that i was DYING OF THE FLU last tuesday is why i did not get hired at the one place.
3. there are earthquakes in california. this scares me more than anything.
4. i didn't realize that i resent the succcess of my friends.
5. i have been searching in vain for the last vicodin i saved from my dental work and i am saddened to say that i think it got lost in the move. this news saddens me more than you may know.
6. i took a 6 hour nap today because i was so fucking tired. now i feel like it's 7:00 at night and it's really almost midnight.
7. i smell like coffee almost all the time. i don't like coffee very much.
8. i have learned not to look a gift horse in the mouth. if only i hadn't fucked shit up at the jewelry company.
9. i have a headache.
10. someone should discover this blog, decide i'm witty, fantastic and hilarious, and then publish it and me, consequentally ending my job hunt and making it so that i can work from home while sipping tea out of a chipped thrift store mug and tapping effervescently at my computer.
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