my word

hackers is a great film. i am watching it right now as greg slumbers peacefully on the couch and my sister breathes phlegmatically next to me in bed. we are ready for my mother's arrival. it is going to be hell.
i can't even think about it.
i went to a really awkward work party today, and apparently one of my friends who is really fucked up is getting engaged. to her bf. who is also really fucked up. seriously, what is this world coming to?

one week

i graduate in one week. greg finished his last painting this morning sometime, in a frenzy of text messages and adderall. he was exhausted, but he said that my name was in there, and that made me very happy. i am glad that i was a part of his work, as he has been a huge part of my life this year, getting me through all the shit or whatever.
i went to therapy today and rebecca was like "you know, you need to calm down. do something to calm down." i feared she was going to suggest yoga, and i remember contemplating wanting to do yoga for a while. i don't know about that anymore. yoga is kind of silly. i understand that it's really good for you physically and i suppose spiritually but it is really not my thing. some skinny bitch standing in front of me telling me to breathe deep and whatever. the one and only time i went to a yoga class, i wanted to leave immediately. unfortunately, it seems that they get nervous if you leave during the movements. i don't want to disturb the others.

on the way home from teh train the other day, i looked in the window of that shabby pet store. there was a cage with a huge pile of ferrets, and one of them had its little slinky head/body draped over the edge of his food/litter dish like a mink stole. i nearly vomited. ferrets disgust/frighten me.

that's a lot of slashes. what am i, 16?

jaffa cakes for all!

i picked my sister up from the airport last night. she was bedraggled, tired and full of fun filled treats and surprises, like jaffa cakes. mmm jaffa cakes. i just had one. they are good.
she came home and passed out on the couch, apparently very happy to have returned to the television, which is something that i can understand very much. when i came home from work the television was on the food channel. jenny cracks my shit up.

it's mother's day. call your mother. i will be calling my crazy ass mom in a few, but i really cannot deal with her. jenny and i are going to prepare the house for her arrival on thursday. this will include a lot of scrubbing down of various surfaces, laundry, emptying out the nasty ass fridge, throwing shit away and probably smoking all the pot that i have in my possession at this time. granted, it is not a lot, but still. i feel like i'm 16 and in high school, but in reality i'm graduating from college in a week.
oh man.

ah excrement

this post will be about the scene that i discovered yesterday afternoon befor and after a delightful lunch with greg and porter.
on my way out of the house, there was a large man in shorts passed out on his back breathing heavily with his eyes closed, possibly in the throes of a heart attack or some other horrible thing. being a good citizen, i went to call the ambulance, but saw that someone else had, and went on my way, after making sure that the paramedics were taking care of him.
i then went to vic's and had a nice lunch with greg and porter and then walked home. upon arrival at my house, the man was gone, and the front door to the vestibule where the doorbells are was opened. there also appeared to be something near the front door, but i wasn't sure what.
i went inside, and recoiled instantly from teh smell.
sitting in front of my front door was a pile of human shit, smeared on the rug and on the edge of the door, next to 2 pairs of socks, rolled up. inside the vestibule. there was a plastic garbage bag stuffed between the door, as if to hold it open.
the smell was overwhelmingly horrible. greg, porter and i nearly threw up. porter had to carry her bike in and we sort of left her down there alone. it waas hilarious/really traumatizing.

"for the boys" is on right now, and i remember watching this movie as a child. cracks me up. oh bette midler.

oh well

well i went to my for real last class of college today. it wasn't even a real class but i went to get a paper back and i did all right and blah blah, i dont care anymore.college and i are finished. end of story.
i am going to talk to sam and cher about grad school however, becuase sam went to the grad school that i want to go to, and he isaid it was like a roach motel: easy to get into, but hard to get out of. that makes me sort of happy.
i dont know.
shit isn't necessarily going the way i would like it to go at this stage in my life but you know what i guess that's the point. i'm looking for jobs in seattle. ii will start sending resumes out at the beginning of june and keep my fingers crossed from there. soon i will have eto start looking for apartments, then i will have to get a plane ticket and then i will be out there. perhaps i am fucking retarded for doing this without us even being back together, but i can do the pacific northwest for a while. it's a change of pace. and i could alwya suse a fucking change of pace.

the master plan of the lesbian bent on seduction

i am not the lesbian in question in the title. i am watching a semi-hilarious documentary on these two old lesbian activists. its charming. there are a lot of really awkward sepia toned reenactments of young girls pretending to be lesbians in the fifties. it's very odd.

in any case: i had a blast from the past today and hung out with amy and lauren. it was nice to see them, and the good thing about hanging out with people from high school is that while you always think it is going to be really awkward, it ineveitably ends up not being so at all. i dont know, it was just like we had always seen each other. it worked.

i need to start reading more. i should turn off the TV. some day.